It was supposed to be a weekend to get things done. I was leaving on a trip on Tuesday. He was going to a Men's church weekend, which he didn't want to go on, but was going because I wanted to go. I was going to get my errands done, get church work done, etc, etc, etc. And.then.he.left.
It's not like we've not been apart before. We have. A lot. I take the kids and go away for the weekend often. But this was different. He had left...without a kiss, without a hug, without an I love you. He.was.just.gone. Never before have I experienced ANYTHING like this before. No contact for 4 days. My head knew he was coming back, but my heart said "he's gone". And this is what it feels like.
Honestly, it was one of the hardest weekends I've ever spent. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be no big deal. Apparently, God had other plans. It was MY lesson for the weekend. Take the time. Appreciate each other, for it can all be gone in a split second. It was eye opening.
He came home Sunday evening thinking no one probably even missed him. And the first thing out of punk #2's mouth was "mommy's been crying all weekend". Thanks kid. But honestly, it's probably the best thing that's happened to us. We spend a lot of time together. Especially the last 7+ years of being self-employed. But this was/is different. He was upset that I had been so upset all weekend. (Which I knew he would be, but you can't tell the heart anything!:) He's totally changed, and yet, totally the same guy.
The hardest thing I had to do was get on that bus a day after he came home. I wanted more time. But that's just not how the schedule works. (And remember, it was supposed to be no big deal...boy was it a big deal!) But now that we're home, the kids are away for spring break and we can just be. We still have to work and go our separate ways for a few hours, but we come home and just be. My weekend getaway starts Thursday and I hope/pray for peace that I can get through the no contact issue I seem to have. I know I can do it, but does my heart? I don't know how/why we got so lucky so many years ago, but I'll always Thank God for giving me him!